Cheese!

December 14th, 2024| Topic: RaMbLeS | 0

London’s Metropolitan Police Service said a couple of months ago:

We received a report of the theft of a large quantity of cheese from a manufacturer based in the London borough of Southwark.”

Not a slice of cheese or two, or a cheese-stick or a couple. No $400,000 worth of the good stuff.

Said the cheese purveyor, Neal’s Yard (no not Kraft or some such supermarket type, but a fancy, high-powered, elite store):

Neal’s Yard Dairy, a leading distributor and retailer of British artisan cheese, has been the victim of a sophisticated fraud resulting in the loss of over £300,000 worth of clothbound Cheddar. The theft involved a fraudulent buyer posing as a legitimate wholesale distributor for a major French retailer, with the cheese delivered before the discovery of the fraudulent identity. The company is now taking steps to address the situation to ensure both its financial stability and the continued development of the British artisan cheese sector.”

Scammed of cheese! 22 tonnes of it!

The stolen cheese comprised a total of over 950 cheeses of three artisan Cheddars. Between them, these cheeses have won numerous awards and are amongst the most sought-after artisan cheeses in the UK.

Neal’s Yard said it was working with law enforcement to identify the perpetrators and that it was aware that the stolen cheese “may never be recovered.”

In a statement shared by Neal’s Yard, Tom Calver, a director of Westcombe Dairy, the maker of one of the cheeses stolen, said:

The process of making the cheese that was stolen began nearly three years ago, when we planted seeds for the animals’ feed in the ground. The amount of work that’s gone into nurturing the cows, emphasizing best farming practice and transforming the milk one batch at a time to produce the best possible cheese is beyond estimation. For that to be stolen absolutely terrible.”

He also praised Neal’s Yard for putting suppliers first by ensuring that they were paid for the cheese, “even in the darkest of times.”

British chef Jamie Oliver was among those left reeling by the theft. In a video shared to Instagram, Oliver referred to the heist as “THE GRATE CHEESE ROBBERY”—I like his style!—and called for those responsible to be brought to justice. Oliver urged his Instagram followers to be alert in case they hear anything about “lorryloads of very posh cheese” being offered “for cheap.”

I don’t know what they’re going to do with it, really. Are they going to unpeel it from the cloth, and cut it and grate it and get rid of it in the fast-food industry, in the commercial industry?”

Or, God forbid, eat all 22 tonnes of it.

In a post Sunday, Neal’s Yard thanked people for supporting them in the wake of the theft, saying:

Many of you have asked how you can help. To that, we say: continue to support British and Irish cheese. Hafod, Pitchfork, and Westcombe are special examples of farmhouse cheddar. Eat them. Celebrate them.”

Yeah, but the most satisfying? Not cheese. But …

God, You are my God; I earnestly long for You;
my soul thirsts for You, my flesh yearns for You,
in an earth dry and desolate, without water.
Thus in the holy place I have beheld You,
to see Your power and Your glory.
Because Your lovingkindness is better than life,
my lips laud You.
So I bless You for [all] my life;
in Your name I lift up my hands.
As with fat and richness [of food] my soul is satisfied,
and with lips joyfully shouting my mouth offers praise.
Psalm 63:1–8

SOURCE: The Washington Post