Cold!
Coolers are in, nowadays. But not your grandpa’s cooler, that had poorly sealed lids, that didn’t have wheels, that cracked in your trunk after a few trips. Nope! The coolers that are in these days are fancy, as described in a recent Wall Street Journal column!
There is, for example RovR RollR 80 that can keep your ice solid for over 10 days, with tubular wheels (optional) that can roll quite easily on sand. (That is, if you plan to trek in the Sahara for 2 weeks.)
Said Tom DeFrancia, founder of RovR:
You could load these coolers up with beer and ice and put it in the backyard, say to have a party on Friday or Saturday, and that ice will still be there the following week. So, you don’t have to unpack the cooler at the end of the party.”
There you go. Stay cool.
Oh, and it can survive the attention of a ravenous bear. Not that must of us cooler-users are going to risk such a hazard. But still, it’s nice to know my hot dogs and cheesecake won’t become bear food.
Commented Wes Wright, 39, a director of mergers and acquisitions based in Lake Orion, MI:
I always like to keep this fantasy in my head that I’m going to go and do some of that cool adventure stuff with the cooler. It’s never going to happen, but I like to imagine I could.”
See—that’s it. I could imagine myself in the most torrid desert or deepest wilderness with one of these things.
Worry-free, bear-resistant, Sahara-impervious, 2-week-frigid coolers. It’s reassuring, I tell you.
The catch? These things will cost you more than your smartphone. The RovR RollR 80 is priced at $549.99!
Quoth the company about their premium product:
This sub-z sex machine on wheels is ready to take on the outdoors with you. It makes carrying 80 quarts of your favorite things a breeze. A cool, Summer breeze.”
Oh, there’s sex in there, too? Who knew?
If you install a DeepFreeze Dry Bin you can carry …
… 88 cans and 10 pounds of ice in main compartment and over 6 bottles of spirits upright, 10-pound sealed bag of ice, 50 quarter pound burgers, a full slab of ribs, and an assortment of breads, fruits and veggies in dry compartments.”
Wow!
Stainless steel axle, bullseye latches, SureGrip feet. Guaranteed bear-proof!
The beast weighs about 50 lbs empty!
Said the Wall Street Journal, about the thing’s lid:
From the picnic to the campsite, the lids on premium coolers are the unsung heroes. They’re sturdy enough to serve as a de facto seat, card table or soap box. Tucked under the lid is a thick rubber gasket, which seals out hot air. But because they’re constantly in use, lids are often a pain point on cheaper products that rely on weak plastic hinges. The RollR uses heavy-duty rotational molded polyethylene hinges held together by a stainless steel rod: a combo that increases the odds you’ll be able to list the ice chest in your will.”
I didn’t know I needed one of these. Now I do.
Stay cool, y’all.
But don’t forget: there’s one thing that shouldn’t get cold.
Warning about the last days, Jesus said:
”At that time many will fall away
and will betray one another and hate one another. …
Because lawlessness is increased,
the love of many will grow cold.”
Matthew 24:10, 12
Bears or no, let’s not let that happen. Stay warm, y’all!
SOURCE:
Wall Street Journal; RovR Products
Abe Kuruvilla is the Carl E. Bates Professor of Christian Preaching at The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary (Louisville, KY), and a dermatologist in private practice. His passion is to explore, explain, and exemplify preaching.