Fall?

March 29th, 2025| Topic: RaMbLeS | 0

Falling out of love, you say? And you think it is all happening rather unpredictably? Betrayal, fight, drift, distancing, breakup?

You may be wrong, assert social scientists from Johannes Gutenberg University Mainz the University of Bern in “Terminal Decline of Satisfaction in Romantic Relationships: Evidence from Four Longitudinal Studies,” published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology recently.

Researchers analyzed data from four major longitudinal studies across different countries, examining the relationships of thousands of couples over time, and the relationship satisfaction scores. They found that couples who eventually break up typically experience a mild decline in happiness for years, followed by a dramatic drop in the final months or years before separation.

Apparently the end of relationships is quite predictable, following a specific two-phase decline that can be measured, tracked, and even predicted with surprising accuracy.

The decline prior to separation was divided into a preterminal phase, characterized by a smaller decline, and a terminal phase, characterized by a sharp decline. Across studies, the onset of the terminal phase was estimated at 0.58–2.30 years [i.e., 7–28 months] prior to separation.”

And what was interesting was how differently breakup initiators and breakup recipients (assuming that there is one of each in a relationship) experience this decline.

People who eventually initiate breakups start becoming dissatisfied much earlier—about a year before the actual split. Meanwhile, their partners often remain relatively happy until just months before the end, when their satisfaction plummets dramatically. Or, as the authors reported:

Individuals who were the recipients of the separation (in contrast to individuals who initiated the separation) entered the terminal phase later but then [their satisfaction] decreased more strongly. The findings support that ending relationships show a typical pattern of preterminal and terminal decline.”

This probably explains why breakups often feel so asymmetrical, with one partner seemingly more prepared than the other for the split.

But it all kinda follows this standard pattern, reported by Study Finds as …

… a scientific trajectory toward separation that looks remarkably similar across cultures, age groups, and relationship types.”

That is to say, in many cases, the relationship between couples is effectively over long before their actual separation occurs—they have already passed the preterminal stage and are just going through the terminal phase, a state of no return.

Then again ….

… if unsatisfied couple members are still in the preterminal phase and have not yet reached the transition point, efforts to improve the relationship may be more effective, potentially preventing the onset of the terminal phase and the eventual dissolution of the relationship.”

Reported Study Finds:

The study also brings some comfort to those blindsided by breakups. If you’ve ever been shocked when a partner suddenly announced they wanted to separate, the science explains why: they likely crossed into terminal decline months or even years before you did. By the time you recognized the severity of the problems, they had already been mentally preparing for the end.”

I’m not entirely sure what comfort that is. But then again, what do I know?

But I know this. There is one relationship that never fails. Only one.

Yahweh is my light and my deliverance—whom shall I fear?
Yahweh is the stronghold of my life—whom shall I dread?
One thing I have asked from Yahweh—that I shall seek:
for me to dwell in the house of Yahweh all the days of my life,
to behold the beauty of Yahweh, and to contemplate in His temple.
For my father and my mother have left me, but Yahweh will take me in.
Psalm 27:1, 4, 10

SOURCE: Study Finds; Journal of Personality and Social Psychology