Aged!

October 12th, 2019| Topic: RaMbLeS | 0

A few weeks ago, a woman got tired of aging. Like many of us.

Time flies. Things change. People age. And the clock ticks on, inexorably, irreversibly, incessantly. We might be unconscious of the fact, unmindful and unaware, but life is running out for each of us.

The old brain with its weary synapses isn’t pushing those neurotransmitters fast enough. Cholesterol rises. Waistlines expand. Joints creak. Eyes squint. Etc.

We are getting old. And so thought that lady in Sugarland, Texas.

But unlike many of us, she decided to do something radical about. And we have the surveillance camera footage to prove it.

One recent Friday night, said aging woman drove up to “Botox RN MD Spa” (yup, that’s what it’s called) in a fancy Mercedes SUV.

She retrieved a battery-powered grinding saw from the vehicle and proceeded to cut into the Spa’s front door, camera and security alarms notwithstanding. She didn’t care. Hey, she was getting old, and that’s all that mattered.

Authorities report that our old lady (she looks pretty young to me, maybe she just did not want to get old) made off with “an undisclosed amount of products from the clinic” before driving away, all young and ageless now.

Anyone with information is asked to contact Sugar Land police. But with all of the camera footage she generously left behind, I wouldn’t be surprised if she isn’t already behind bars.

In 2018, 23.5 million cosmetic procedures were performed. Females took the vast share: 92%. Hey, even 13–19-year olds had 457,000 cosmetic procedures done last year. Did you know that $16,500,000,000 (= $16.5 billion) was spent on said undertakings in 2018?

Of the minimally invasive of these procedures, Botox was No. 1 (7,400,000)—up 3% from 2017. And about 50 times more often than it was a decade ago.

As a practicing dermatologist, I can heartily attest to the fact that a cottage industry thrives on the narcissistic culture’s agonizing over the paleness of teeth, darkness of skin, shortness of eyelashes, wrinkling of brows, rippling of fat, and the urgency to wax, spray, laser, peel, lift, tuck, and color.

But can we beat age? No way! Not even by burglarizing spas!

As the sand in our hourglasses run out, afflictions abound in synapse and sinew, frailties fell both mind and body. I feel like the Psalmist who declared …

Do not cast me off in the time of old age;
Do not forsake me when my strength fails.
Psalm 71:9

But I was struck by the reason the Psalmist gives for this plea.

O God, You have taught me from my youth,
And I still declare Your wondrous deeds.
And even when I am old and gray,
O God, do not forsake me,
Until I declare Your strength to this generation,
Your power to all who are to come.
Psalm 71:17–18

Did you catch that? “Until I declare Your strength/power to the succeeding generations. Until I announce You and declare You and display You to the new crop, new generation. Until then, O Lord, do not forsake me. Keep me going.” (After that, I suppose, the Psalmist would prefer to go “home.”)

So … we’re here on this infinitesimal intersection of time and space—we old geezers, seniors, mature ones, (or whatever pleasant euphemism takes your fancy)—we’re here to proclaim God to the next generation. To point them to the Almighty. To teach them and to model for them what it means to walk with Christ, led by the Spirit, for the glory of God.

Proclaiming God. What a solemn responsibility. Let’s get to work!

SOURCES:
USAToday; American Society of Plastic Surgeons; Geroscience