May 21st, 2016| Topic: RaMbLeS | 0


A strange thing happened the other day.

An Israeli dude wanted a restraining order against God. He petitioned the Haifa Magistrate’s Court to issue one.

“Will the faultfinder contend with the Almighty?
Let him who reproves God answer it.”
Job 40:2

The name of the petitioner has not been reported, but he represented himself in court, creating quite a storm with his audacity.

Then the LORD answered Job out of the storm and said,
“Now gird up your loins like a man; I will ask you, and you instruct Me.
Will you really annul My judgment? Will you condemn Me that you may be justified?
Or do you have an arm like God, And can you thunder with a voice like His?”
Job 40:6–9

And so the guy girded up his loins like a man and made his accusation. The Almighty has been particularly unkind to him, he declared.

I don’t know what his wife thought of that, but here’s what Job’s wife said:

“Curse God and die!”
Job 2:9

Our man didn’t go that far: he only asked for a restraining order from God. “Keep him far from me!”

Yeah, right!

“I will ask you, and you instruct Me!
Where were you when I laid the foundation of the earth?
Tell Me, if you have understanding.”
Job 38:3

At least God showed up when Job accused him. He didn’t for our man in Haifa.

For proper protocol in Israeli courts the accused has to turn up. (Though how the court determined that the Omnipresent One was not in fact present, I don’t know.)

The report of the court noted that said petitioner had tried on multiple occasions to obtain a restraining order from said divine defendant. The police had merely sent a patrol car to his house each time in response. The poor guy!

Afterward Job opened his mouth and cursed the day of his birth ….
“Let the day perish on which I was to be born, …
May that day be darkness; Let not God above care for it, Nor light shine on it.
I am not at ease, nor am I quiet, And I am not at rest, but turmoil comes.”
Job 3:1, 3–4, 25–26

Life, it is true, is fraught with trouble. Often, with no rhyme or reason for the trouble, making one echo with Job:

“Why did I not die at birth,
Come forth from the womb and expire?”
Job 3:11

The Haifa man argued that over the last three years God had exhibited “a seriously negative attitude” toward him, though details of the alleged divine disservice and damage thereby incurred by him were not forthcoming.

“Why is light given to him who suffers, And life to the bitter of soul,
Who long for death, but there is none …,
Who rejoice greatly, And exult when they find the grave?
Why is light given to a man whose way is hidden, And whom God has hedged in?”
Job 3:20–23

Ah, but can one blame God?

After a lesson in cosmology, oceanography, astronomy, meteorology, zoology, etc. (Job 38–42), Job realizes the error of pointing a deprecatory finger at God.

“I know that You can do all things, And that no purpose of Yours can be thwarted.
Therefore I have declared that which I did not understand,
Things too wonderful for me, which I did not know.”
Job 42:2–3

The presiding judge in Haifa, Ahsan Canaan, denied the request, calling it ludicrous. Not sure what the petitioner’s response was, but here’s Job’s:

“Therefore I retract, And I repent in dust and ashes.”
Job 42:5–6

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