Stud!

April 24th, 2021| Topic: RaMbLeS | 0

A few extra pounds put on during the pandemic? No problem! Want a perfect beach body? Easy solution! Fitness regimen neglected? Fret not!

You can get your muscles online. Yup, online.

Well, it’s not the real thing …

Chinese online bazaars are now selling realistic muscle suits that can make you look ripped without moving a muscle, leaving the sofa, or making your way to the gym.

You can be an insta-stud!

Head to the website Taobao or AliExpress and you can buy a Smitizen brand bodysuit that, to be honest, looks pretty realistic. They are made of 100% medical-grade silicone and are available as either full body, upper body, or lower body casts. Depending on what section of the body you want to embellish. eBay sells a Dokier silicone chest suit for about the same price.

Perfect for camouflaging lockdown body and its flab. All for anywhere from $200 to $500.

Of course, you don’t have to walk around barechested to show off your “muscles.” Just dress yourself normally and let your figure pop!

That, of course, assumes you’d rather walk around with a thick layer of silicone adorning you.

But the fact is, these things are so realistic, they have arm veins, chiseled collarbones, and all. You are really gonna impress the weaklings with your purchased “physique.”

The body suits feature additional realistic elements, including arm veins and chiselled collarbones, which is bound to leave people impressed by your ripped physique.

But even if you have the actual stuff and you avoid the silicone copies, our REAL strength comes from one source.

I love You, Yahweh, my strength.
Yahweh is my rock and my stronghold and the One who saves me,
my God, my cliff, I take refuge in Him;
my shield and the horn of my deliverance, my haven.
The praiseworthy One I called—Yahweh,
and from my enemies I was delivered.
Psalm 18:1–3

There is a concentration of epithets for God in 18:1–3, many of them martial in nature: “strength,” “rock,” “stronghold,” “One who saves,” “cliff,” “shield,” “horn of my deliverance,” “haven.” All of the names for Yahweh here have a first-person connection: “my.” No wonder the child of God can call upon their Lord and be committed to him.

They encompassed me, the ropes of death,
and the torrents of ungodliness terrified me.
The ropes of Sheol surrounded me;
they confronted me, the snares of death.
Psalm 18:4–5

Notice how dire the distress is, menacing and ominous: four times the imminence of mortal danger is repeated (18:4a, 4b, 5a, 5b). And, as if to emphasize the “snare” and “ropes,” in the Hebrew the verbs (A, A’, A”, A”’) and phrases (B, B’, B”, B”’) interweave and intertwine in a double chiasm.

But strong enough to rescue us from any kind of distress, is our God.

In my distress I called upon Yahweh,
and to my God I cried for help.
He heard my voice from His temple,
and my cry for help before Him came to His ears.

He is a shield to all who take refuge in Him.
For who is God, except Yahweh?
and who is a rock, besides our God—
the God who girds me with strength.

Your right hand upholds me!

Therefore I will give thanks to You among the nations, Yahweh,
and to Your name I will sing praises.
Psalm 18:6, 30–32, 35, 49

No need for the plastic stuff. Go for the REAL thing: God!

SOURCES:
Daily Mail; New York Post